Let’s look at the different scenarios that you may encounter in your life on the path of personal growth: linear growth and “fork” (situation of choice). In this article, we will focus on how you can overcome the hesitation that we all face in a confusing “fork of choice” situation.
The situation of linear growth occurs when you can see the next step clearly enough. It is not difficult for you to understand what your next move should be. In this case, the most difficult will be the very implementation of this step. It does not mean that you can predict your next 10 moves, but at least the next step is clear. Having made this move, you will soon see that the next step will not keep you waiting.
As an example of linear growth, you can take my diet improvement path. Gradually I switched from a regular food to a vegetarian one, then I became a vigan (complete absence of animal foods), and now I eat raw foods. Naturally, as I moved along this path I had to experiment, but I always imagined quite clearly the ‘next level’ that I wanted to achieve.
(… part of the text is omitted…)
Linear growth is a wonderful situation. If you can see your next step, you can focus on the changes you need to make, instead of making decisions over and over again with doubts about your loyalty. It doesn’t mean that this kind of growth is a simple thing, but at least you know where you’re going.
It is very important to know that at this point in your life you are in a situation of linear growth. Often we can take a development path that challenges us. In this situation, you may want to change your previous decision.
“There has to be an easier way,” we say. But in trying to make a better decision, we come to the same answer. We’re on the right track; it’s just that the road has been quite difficult. But that’s only good for us, because that’s the way we have to develop our self-discipline, concentration and perseverance.
If you think that “a path that is too hard automatically means that it is a wrong choice,” then you just give in to the mood of a person with weak will, you turn your back on the truth. After all, you can only become stronger by lifting heavy weights. Avoiding heavy weights, you make yourself weaker.
“Fork of choice.”
“Fork” occurs when you see two mutually exclusive paths and you have a hard time deciding on either one. The challenge is to choose the “right” path. Implementing the decision can still be difficult, but the most important limiting factor is the situation of the original choice.
Should you enroll in an institution or start your own business? Should you get engaged to your girlfriend or, conversely, split up?
What would you prefer? Option A or B? Which decision is the right one? How do I make a decision?
“Decision forks” can be very disappointing. The problem is that a wise choice situation can stop you from growing, sometimes for years.
In my life, I have personally encountered many “forks”. In many cases, I had to spend hundreds of hours trying to figure out what was the right decision, and as a result, I still continued to question the correctness of what I was doing.
You can seriously strain your brains trying to figure out the best solution. You can use various diagnostic and analytical tools to help you make your decision. You can ask other people for advice. You can listen to your intuition. Sometimes this helps, but in many cases: the more you analyze a situation, the more confusing it becomes.
The “choice fork” can be represented as follows: as several time lines stretching into the future, a separate line for each possible branch. These lines come out of one point where you have to make a decision. When you make a decision, you attach yourself to a particular branch. From now on, you will never again be able to experience another option (at least not in the same way that you can do it now).
Indecision in the “Fork” situation.
One of the reasons why it is so easy to get stuck in a “fork” situation is that it implies the illusion of more freedom than a position on any of the branches after a decision has been made. Freedom often feels better than binding oneself to any of the options chosen.
For example, you are married and have a mistress (lover) on the side. Your spouse and lover learn of each other’s existence; now you are under pressure from both sides; you must choose a side.
Many people in this situation will put off their choices as much as possible. Why? Because the freedom that comes with keeping both opportunities open feels better than the need to give up either of the partners. Neither of these choices is a clear improvement over the situation of endless indecision.
Unfortunately, being stuck for too long in a “fork” situation, you often lose your freedom to make decisions at all. For example, both your spouse and your mistress become fed up with this state of affairs and they both leave you, you are left with nothing. Your freedom to make decisions is taken away from you.
The choice was made for you. It’s not a good idea to let fate make decisions for you because it sucks.
The “fork of choice” situation doesn’t have to be this big. You can get stuck in it if you have to answer the question, “What would I do today?” If you get stuck in a state of indecision for too long, pretty soon you’re just going to lose your ability to choose at all.
It may be up to you to decide whether you want to be on TV or the Internet. Such hesitation can cause you to spend a huge amount of your time simply letting it go day after day.